Friday, April 20, 2012

Warning: Stupid may be Stupid.

So apparently I'm kind of a mean person for NOT thinking the famous twit who burned herself on hot coffee and got us all those moronic "Warning: the Hot coffee you ordered is, in fact, hot." labels deserved it.

 You know why I think it was a stupid lawsuit? Because Although the coffee was supposedly hot enough to deliver 'third degree burns': which in and of itself begs the question of why she didn't notice this since crappy drive through cups literally RADIATE heat even at their normal molten levels... she followed up on ignoring the blazing heat radiating through waxy crappy paper by not putting it in a cup holder... anywhere in her car... (and these were pretty standard around the time the law suit happened so I find it curious that she didn't have one available.), but by PUTTING IT BETWEEN HER LEGS. While driving.

 We aren't talking about Fort Knox here. We're talking about a drive through coffee cup. A waxed cylinder of fragile paper, a molten core, and a plastic lid my two year old can destroy by LOOKING at it.

 Squeeze this delicate frame even fractionally too hard, and that fucker will FLY off. Hell if it's open, a slight jolt will spray you with coffee, let alone the additional issue of needing to drive, which causes your muscles to work which... well... squeezes the cup. See earlier commentary about the lid.

 While I'm sorry for the damage she reputably sustained ((Because no one has EVER lied about injuries in a lawsuit.)), burns of any kind FUCKING HURT... I'm never going to feel THAT BAD for someone who bypassed common sense at that level.

 I guess that makes me a mean person.

 Awwwww. Poor Me. I'm mean.

Friday, March 11, 2011


So apparently we've definitely established that in the pokemon universe: DEAD PEOPLE CAN BECOME POKEMON. They can then be crammed into pokeballs and forced to do your bidding.

 I'm not kidding. Meet YAMASK.

 His description in Pokemon Black:
  "Each of them carries a mask that used to be its face when it was human. Sometimes they look at it and cry"

 and in Pokemon White:
  "These Pok√©mon arose from the spirits of people interred in graves in past ages. Each retains memories of its former life."

 Between this and the fact that the pokemon already looks like it's crying is really amazingly creepy. ((And a little bit cool.))

 It's definitely a very interesting dark element in an otherwise happy and perky game that revolves around people and their happy little animal-monster companions, although if you think about it, the concept is teetering on a dark bent already. People are sending their children out to go battle people with other animal-monsters, and capture wild, untrained ones in pokemon balls.

 Realistically, you could get yourself seriously freaking hurt if you tried to tangle with a twenty foot rock snake armed with a tiny water spitting Newt or the like, but in the DS games, you merely risk getting knocked out, not getting turned into a red smear on a cave wall.

 I often regale (bore) people silly by pointing out that I have actually played an pokemon game where the trainers and pokemon could get hurt, or even killed trying to catch particularly dangerous wild pokemon, but really, it was a pretty Kick-Ass roleplay. My trainer actually lost their hand being cocky and stupid, but thats what you get assuming that you're going to take on an pokemon with a blade on it's head by yourself. It really really is a fun idea and people should try it more often. 

Saturday, March 5, 2011

My Useless Superpower:

 So apparently I don't have the ability, necessarily, to predict when game is going to be off for the day. ((Sadly we're off again this week, because of my husbands job... again...))

 ((Please excuse me while I thrash around on the floor in withdrawal.))

 Anyway: Apparently I do have a superpower, although it's a fairly useless on. I shall call it my "Doom Sense".

 Doom Sense tells me when a game is about to take a nosedive into the mizzenheap. ((Or septic tank if you'd prefer less creative words.))

 A month or so ago, my Doom Sense kicked in. At the time it was fairly mild, but piercing. Kind of like someone blowing a shrill whistle a couple rooms away... but I'm getting ahead of myself. First I have to explain a little about the game, but not so much that it's entirely clear what game I was playing. Unless maybe you're part of it. If you are part of it: HI. I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS YET TO HAPPEN TO RUIN YOUR FUN. I REALLY AM.

 Anyway: The game started out a while back, it was based on an fairly popular series and that was cool. There was art of the characters, and all that kind of fun stuff, and the artists were using this in part to pay their bills. Cool. The only down side was that this technically kinda went straight into the dark gray-to-black area of the host where the RP was set because most of the characters were coming into existence via cash, and not via any other kind of unpaid event, and the site kind of frowns on that because they'd rather have your money instead, kthnxbai.

 No one really made a big deal about that however so no one really got in trouble for THAT. But as the game went on, we started having a problem that became later nicknamed "Carpet Shop". The staff would work with players. They would allow people to set up plots, character histories, character ideas, character developments... pat you on the head and tell you how AMAZING an idea you'd had and weren't you so clever? YES YOU WERE! YES YOU WERE YOU LITTLE ROLEPLAYER YOU! 8D

 ... And then they'd turn around and carpet yank the idea and tell you sorry, they HAD in fact actually agreed to everything a week to a month ago, but they'd changed their minds and you couldn't do that now. They however, apparently could do anything they wanted. Past lives for their characters? HELL YEAH. Past lives for anyone else? Nope, totally forbidden, including you, person, who we encouraged because we loved your idea so much. Yeah you've been RPing out hints of it for months because we said you could and we all loved it, but now you have to stop. Sorry.

 It was things like that OVER and OVER. And every time someone turned around, the staff had given themselves a brand new Ultra Amazing Shinything. And their new UAS was of course massively integral to plot and massively powerful, and could beat all of your characters, at once, with one hand tied behind their back while suffering from the flu. And they had the flu, to show you they were human too and oh they suffered. THEY SUFFERED. It was sad.

 This obviously started to build up into a giant wall of discontent, people sitting on it and wondering if it had happened to anyone else, but kind of afraid to ask because everyone wanted to be liked, everyone hoped the staff would like them and maybe, maybe give THEM a scrap of shiny-things, let a plot through, let a character not played by the staff actually do something of more importance than tie their shoe... and no one said anything for a long long time.

 And then one magical day, the staff, who were also the artists, decided that the quit. If you didn't have all your art yet well... you'd get it..............................................someday. Never mind that you'd paid three-weeks-work-of-grocery money to GET your multiple art stages. You'd get Someday. whenever.

 This set off a shockwave through the carefully layered walls, and people started actually discussing everything that had hugely upset them, especially the time after time after time that not one, not two, but dozens and dozens of promises had been given and then broken.

 There was a huge outpouring of bile, and then someone stepped in and said: Hell with this, we like this rp's basic idea, we're going to see if we can continue this.

 And for a while they did. Any it was good. And plots ACTUALLY HAPPENED. And the staff DID NOT pat themselves on the back with new UAS's every week or so, and IT WAS GOOD. AND THE PEOPLE WERE HAPPY.
 And even better, they decided that there would be no more Canon characters brought in, because it had created just too damn much strife. AND THAT WAS TERRIFIC AND EVERYONE LOVED IT.

...And then the doom sense tingled, as the lone remaing artist started taking, with staff permission. NEW. CUSTOM SLOTS.

 And the doom sense said "This is some bad shit there. Yeah they need money, but they're not staff anymore... Shouldn't they just be selling art, not characters?

 ...And Doom Sense said "...I think I'm gonna kinda bow out here. I don't like this shit."

 And Doom Sense was right. For lo and behold. In the land in which no more canon characters were to ever be released, ever. THEY RELEASED ONE OF THE TWO CENTRIC MOST POWERFUL CHARACTERS OF ALL.

 And the Doom Sense spake and it said: "Hell, I don't care who got this thing, This is the beginning of the end son, the old bad shit has come back like a cancer, nothing good can come of this! Avoid that crap like the plague, woman!"

 And I'm kind of thinkin' Doom Sense might be right about this one. No matter how many awesome players you've got it's kinda hard to run anything on broken promises, no matter how good the behind the scenes reasoning might have seemed.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Murcrow! I curse You!

 So I've been playing Pokemon Soul Silver. This is not a new game... in fact the NEW game comes out on the sixth, and I am looking forward to that -like crazy-. All new pokemon, and all that kind of badass stuff. I kinda stopped playing Silver for a while, but the release of the new game and GameStop releasing legendaries kinda made me pick it back up. ((Yay for Celebi!)).

 Anyway I've gotten as far as the Safari Zone, you know the drill, thirty safari balls, and the choice to throw mud or bait at the pokemon you're trying to catch, or just chuck a ball. I've gotten a fair variety of pokemon this way, so it's not a bad deal for the amount of in game money it costs you, if you're patient. However, the one pokemon that WILL NOT stay in a goddamn safari ball is FREAKING MURCROW.

 I have never been able to actually CATCH that damn pokemon and it drives me totally crazy. Fortunately I was able to look up where to possibly find it in the wild so I'm hoping to snag the little bastard in an actual bastard, but I've wasted more time trying to cram that black feathered bastard into a pokeball....

 Seriously it's got to be having a detrimental effect on my sanity. That and the fact I haven't had an solid eight hours sleep in a week. X_X We can all thank the MiniMonster for that, something's been making him incredibly restless at night and he won't go back to sleep unless someone gets up and sits with him until he goes back to sleep. This usually takes about an hour, with him cramming his tiny hands into your throat, armpit, or eye-socket occasionally, and trying to get comfortable.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

It's Her Birthday and She can Cry all She wants to

 Here's a little "Pro-tip" to all you young, stary eyed roleplayers out there. ((All of us cynical, twisted ones already know this sort of thing.))

 If you don't have the time to play an important role in an active game: DON'T APPLY FOR IT.

 Seriously I shouldn't even have to explain why this is a terrible idea. I mean, who doesn't want to have a chance at being important to the plot and story at large. In our dark twisted little hearts, we'd all love our chance to shine for a little while, but at the same time, if you know you're not going to be able to keep up, if you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that things are about to get crazy, not once but over and over and over again... think carefully about taking on anything that requires in game responsibility.

 Not only does it hurt the game at large if you can't be there to play your lynchpin role, but it will also hurt it if you promise to do things by a deadline, and then push it off... and push it off... and push it off...

 The mature thing to do at this point, if you have found yourself in such a role, would be to speak to one of the moderators or storytellers and explain your problem, and see if they can -take the role off your hands- so that you're not holding things up. Especially if the story is bopping right along otherwise, and people are anxiously waiting to see what you'll do.

 The immature, not so classy thing to do is sit back, make a bunch more characters, and go fish around for them to get roles that are, if not AS important, still pretty important, and ignore the character that's lynchpin for a certain role.

 If you do the second option, and you do this for... oh... six months or so, especially if you do this while RPing with others of your characters and chattering cheerfully away, please don't be excessively surprised if other people become strangely angry with you. I mean, again, do I really have to say why it's unreasonable not to expect people to be frustrated at this juncture?

 And if on top of all of that, when finally confronted by the fact that you haven't done more than wave your hand vaguely at the things you promised to do when you took on the role, that you, personally, agreed that you would do...

 Please please for the love of god don't throw a tantrum about how it's your Motherfarking birthday and it's not fair to call you on it that day.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Subconsious, Star Wars and Stellar Behavior

 We had another round of our Star Wars game this weekend, that was pretty fun. We all kind of had to laugh though since it seems there are now something like three factions going on between FIVE players, and none of them trust each other, and or, may be trying to screw everyone else over. The GM barely needs to throw conflict at us, we do it to ourselves!

 It's still a lot of fun though, and I suspect we've got a lot more chaos NOT from the group on the way, since once we leave Ashpat, ((which is the  Star Wars version of visiting Vegas...)) we're going to the Kiffar home-world, where hopefully we'll finally see an advance in the GM's plot arc for my character, involving the reasons why his psychometry powers are -completely off the freaking charts- and occasionally unpredictable, in ways that have once or twice actually proved dangerous.

 I'm really kind of looking forward to that, since I've been waiting a long time to get a little more information on that arc.

 Maybe that was why I had -really messed up dreams- last night about my character being somehow turned into a woman, and having to escape with the help of one of his greatest enemies. ((In the game it's Set Harth, who's trying to 'collect' him. In the dream it was ALSO a woman.)) Oh and in the dream he was also made pregnant. 

 ... Yeah my subconscious is pretty messed up apparently.

 Otherwise on a more NORMAL note: I found an new Pern board to RP on. So far it looks like it'll be pretty fun, though we got a nice front row seat to some drama with a couple players flipping their lids over a temporary ban on blond hair and blue eyes. ((These are both recessive traits in the first place, and most Pernese genetics don't much come from sources that would provide either blond hair or blue eyes.))

 Therefore a temporary ban when a massive amount of the site is blonder than barbie is actually not that unreasonable, and has nothing to do with the actual personality of the character.

 Fortunately things seem to have settled down to a dull sulk from the offending parties, and things are moving onward.